A testimony on how my God fullfilled the desires of my heart

My story of how god blessed me with a job and how he’s moving us across continents in the midst of a global lockdown.

In case you don’t know me, my name is Jesho Carmel. I’m a grown ass adult travelling a journey called life sharing the world with you, the reader. This is a story of how God made my dream come true, not in the way I wanted, but in his way.

I grew up in India, the Israel of the east, the land that gave birth to the religions of the eastern world. I moved to Malaysia when I was 24 in 2014 to work with Maybank and then with BNM. I’ve always wanted to go out of India (like every other Indian national :D) to work, explore, travel and learn how the outside world is and I’m always curious, how different people groups go with their lives.

When I was working in Maybank as a software engineer, I met this beautiful Malaysian girl who was my application user. And while she was giving her user requirements, as a good developer I told her what she really requires is not a web application, but me and ended up tying the knot with her in 2019.

And when the honeymoon phase was over, I wanted more in life. We humans want something new every day, don’t we? For me, I wanted to move to a different country (again). My heart desired for Europe this time. Why Europe? History and the people. I’ve been a history buff from my childhood and wanted to see the places that I’ve heard so much about. Like I said above, I like to learn people behavior and european culture was interesting on the paper . Another reason- to set my foot on the Camp Nou, a dream for every Barcelona fan. During my time with Accenture, I was bullied and conned from undertaking a two-week trip to London and Spain last minute by my office politicians. The office politicians in India are a joke. I am waiting for a Netflix documentary about them soon.

To move to Europe, I would need a job and hence I started preparing for interviews with companies. This time, I wanted to try my luck in FAANG. FAANG is an acronym for the big tech companies (Facebook, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google). I was confident enough to apply for positions in big tech companies in Europe. Facebook, Amazon, Twitter invited me for interviews and I failed the first round in all three. I felt like an idiot. I spend almost 6-7 hours a day 7 days a week apart from work training for interviews and didn’t even get past the first round. I was also attending interviews with companies that weren’t big tech like SkyScanner, Booking holdings, Spotify, AirAsia, etc. but I couldn’t get past the first rounds. It was becoming like a pattern to me. Study algorithms, practice questions, do mock interviews and fail in the first round. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t find what it was.

While this was happening during mid-2020, I was hit by a severe case of stomach ulcer caused by an over-presence of a certain type of bacteria. I had stomach pain for months and lost 10 kg in a matter of months. I had to stop all my preparation and get some rest as advised by my doctor.

lost a good 10 kgs in a few months (wearing the same shorts in both images)

“Stress had also played a big role in your illness”- my doctor.

I had to shut my interview preparation after 7 months and lie low. And when I laid low, I searched for that someone again- God. Honestly, I’m not a bad Christian. I go to church every Sunday, read the bible and did my customary 5 minutes sleepy prayer every day. I’m a very active church person. But was God satisfied with this? I’ll answer the question later.

Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labour in vain. - Psalms 127 : 1

The above words from the bible resonated with what I was going through. I cried to God and demanded for answers, and one day God spoke to me. He said, “Where is your tent ? You’ve pitched your tent far away from me. You have traded me for carnal things of life and now you demand answers?” (Remember Job anyone?). What I heard from him was a shocker to me. I realised that since I came to Malaysia in 2014, I’ve moved God to the store room. I didn’t need God much. I had good health, good lifestyle, good earnings and good friends. I’ve almost done everything I wanted to - triathlons, hikings, scuba dives, partying, traveling, ate the wide range of cuisines (Malaysia is infamous for that). But I had traded God, that too in a bad deal (perhaps they should have named me Esau). I left God to be a commodity I consume now and then or maybe to a person from whom I get stuff from when in need. And that’s where our difference was.

He wanted me to put him as the first person in my life and I had him as an acquaintance who I look unto when I needed something.

Honestly, I didn’t desire or want to put him in that place. I wanted him to be the first in my life but what I wanted and what I was doing, were not the same. My inner guy (I call him sifu) said, “Jesho, you are a busy guy. There’s so many things you want to do in life. Of course God is first, but before that let’s attend to the few things that you want, and then we will give all our time to God. Trust me. It’s a win-win situation. “ But the few things never ended. It just kept on piling until God had to intervene to get my attention and show that I have pitched my tent far from his dwelling place. Very far indeed. I also realised that no amount of church services, cell group meetings, church activities can get you an inch closer to God. Believe me, I’ve done all of that. The Bible says, the Holy Spirit brings you closer to God, not church activities and not the cell group luncheons. What he desires and longs for is a personal relationship, a quiet time with him every day and I started doing just that. Every Saturday I observed a sabbath from then on. No phones, no internet, no work but just pray, read and rest. Sorry if you knew me and I didn’t reply to your Whatsapps on Saturdays.

After 4 months, I recovered from my illness and I applied again for interviews. Amazon invited me to do an interview with them again. It was a 4-month process. They gave me ample time for preparations between each rounds. I kept my sabbath every week and never did any interview training after 7pm during these 4 months. After 7pm is family time, and God’s time. The final round was a 5-hour interview with some tough questions asked. I got an email after a week saying that I’ve cleared all the rounds and started the process for relocation. God had now shown me what he can do when I have him first. He meant business. I am moving with my wifeto Germany in a few days and to him be all the glory for making this happen.

The funny part is this. I started appearing for interviews in 2019 when everything was normal and everybody were travelling everywhere. But God didn’t want me to go then. When the whole world is in a lockdown now, when the Malaysian border is still closed, God is moving me and my wife across continents. What a style he has, after all he created style, didn’t he. I also realised God moved the Israelites the same way. Moving them across land is too mainstream. God had to part the Red Sea to show that he will do anything for his children. That’s everything for him. His children. Adam and his sons, and daughters. He will even die for you and he did.

I’m still learning and loving him more each day and I leave you the reader with the following verse.

“O taste and see that the LORD is good; How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!”

–Psalms 34:8

May peace be with you and do keep us in your prayers. Shalom.

Taking the Egyptian slaves to their promised land via land was too mainstream for the LORD. He had to part the sea.

A snap of us in the 2020 new year service in our church

PS: As I end this post, I would like to thank the missionaries and the LORD’s own people here in Malaysia from whom he has taught me a lot. Thank you.